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Moving to another country can be challenging: the stress of moving, starting a new study or job, leaving friends and family behind…who has the stamina? Especially if you don’t have a significant other by your side, loneliness can creep in. But, before you turn to Google or online dating sites for answers, check these 6 things to know about dating in the Netherlands!

But first, you can’t start dating without knowing some good Dutch pick-up lines! So here is our video on flirting in Dutch that will improve your love life in no time.

Dating in the Netherlands: what’s the deal?

Windmills, tulips, and cheese. The Netherlands is known for many things but what about the Dutch women and men? What do they do, where do they live, what are they like? Most importantly, how do you go about dating a Dutchie?

If you’re hoping to find a tender soulmate to come along and swoop you off your feet, then we have some bad news: the Dutch may not be the right fit. Welcome to the land of sensibility and realistically romantic folk. Sounds good so far? Then read on! 💋

1. Honesty is the way to go

This one goes for both Dutch men and women: honesty is their policy. Don’t worry if you have something stuck between your teeth after dinner, your date will tell you. 🙈

This may come as a shock at first, but once you get used to it, you quickly realize — hey! This is actually better! Who would want to walk around the whole night without anyone mentioning the lipstick on your teeth, right? 🤪

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The Dutch believe that it’s better to be honest than to mislead someone or create high expectations. Instead, they put their cards openly on the table so that you don’t have to assume anything. So, no mind-games, no drama, no fuss! Any doubt? Just ask!

2. Keeping things casual

Dutch people are casual! If you expect to go to a fancy restaurant on a first date, well, things may not turn out the way you want. Nothing beats the gezellig atmosphere of a traditional Dutch bruin café where you can enjoy a pint and some bitterballen. 😋

Plus, it is just too much work to try to bike with your high heels and itty bitty dress, and who wants to slowly suffocate because of that stupid tie? Lekker rustig, you got this.

3. Dutch flirting and romance

Time is valuable for anyone! Like we’ve mentioned before, Dutchies are always pro-honesty and that affects their flirting style as well. That’s why Dutch women and men find it a waste of time to sugar-coat things and shower people with half-fake compliments. So, don’t get discouraged just because your date isn’t complimenting your every trait.

The same goes for romantic gestures. Gifts? Instead of popular ideas like a luxurious box of chocolates, you might get something you would use and enjoy more. In the end, everyone can get those cliché gifts, but that Kindle they just got for you? That shows that not only does your Dutchie care for you, but also listens to what you say and knows what you like! 🤗

4. Marriage, mortgage, and kids in the Netherlands

Okay, this is where things get a little tricky. We’re all familiar with the traditional way things go once you’re in a relationship. If you think you’ve found the right person, who you genuinely like spending time with, first you go steady, then after a couple of years one of you pops the question. Then comes the marriage, a mortgage, and a kid or two — or so the media says. 👀

READ MORE 4 things I wish I knew before moving to the Netherlands for love

When it comes to the Netherlands and dating, things go a little differently. They’ve decided to skip all that. Marriage is seen as a serious commitment by many and should not be taken lightly. So you meet someone? Great. The relationship’s going well? Then let’s move in together and maybe buy a house! Cool. What’s next? How about becoming parents?

I once had a friend of mine saying, “First comes the house, then a pet, then a kid, and then the marriage. I’m not going to marry someone without making sure that we can spend the rest of our lives together. What if he is a bad father?” 🤔

5. Taboo who?

It’s not uncommon to hear some heavy-hitting questions like, “Do you believe in God?” and “When was the last time you had sex?” when you’re first talking to a Dutch person.

Surprised? We can only imagine. Freedom and individuality are encouraged in the Netherlands. Your Dutchie is likely to be someone who isn’t afraid to tackle the trickiest subjects pretty early on in the relationship, if not on the very first date. 😅

The reason? They want to know your opinion on these subjects to evaluate if you two are compatible with each other. That actually makes sense, right?

Moreover, they will give their opinion, whether you want to hear it or not. What the rest of the world considers as potentially rude or too blunt, the Dutch call it being open and honest.

6. Like saving money? So do the Dutch!

The Dutch are known for being cheap—ahem, we mean frugal—and this is often seen as something negative, but why? If your Dutchie knows where the best deals are, and doesn’t want to pay extra for something that can be found for less, who says that’s ever a bad thing? 💵 ❤️

End of the story

Just like you wouldn’t describe yourself as a typical (insert your home country’s nationality), the same goes for the Dutch as well. Apart from some common traits that we can mention with humour, it’s better to keep in mind that your Dutchie is just as unique as you! So, sit back, relax and success with dating a Dutchie! 🙆🏻‍♀️

READ NEXT Amsterdate, Amsterdamn! Dating in the Netherlands is not a piece of stroopwafel

Got a crush on a Dutchie but don’t know how to ask them out? To make sure your romantic endeavours are a success in the Netherlands, here are some tips to help get you speaking the same language:

What’s your experience with dating in the Netherlands? Let us know in the comments below!

Feature Image: Wavebreakmedia/Depositphotos
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published in January 2018, and was fully updated in November 2021 for your reading pleasure.

A little bit about the country

The Netherlands (or Holland) is an amazing country with unusual geographical features that largely shaped its appearance and character of the inhabitants. A significant part of the territory lies below sea level. The country has a huge number of reclamation canals and dams, which the Dutch built over the centuries, conquering the land from the sea itself. The country is separated into twelve provinces, and they have some significant differences, even though it might not be clearly seen to the tourists. They all can be separated into South, West, East and North ones.

The cold north wind created the Vikings, and the unusual natural conditions created the Dutch people - pragmatic and persistent as they are.

What the Dutch are like

A lot of tourists see the country annually, and many of them consider moving there and dating local people. But people who would like to try dating Dutch men and women should learn about their culture and traditions first. To understand the way the Dutch think and how their minds work it’s better to communicate with them and make some friends and acquaintances there.

Just remember that if you ask a Dutchman or a woman about what they really think of something - be ready to deal with the answer.

Conscientious and hardworking residents of that country are accustomed to doing everything in time and to bring any matter to the end. Punctuality and professional attitude are welcome in business and personal life. Some people consider the Dutch even too practical and think that their pragmatism is pretty far from romantic relationships. People in the Netherlands avoid celebrating the St. Valentine’s day because of its commercial side - those numerous toy hearts and luxury bouquets are not impressive for the locals. Of course, some Dutch women are pretty happy to receive such romantic presents, but all in all the attitude to all that dating attributes is pretty different there.

Since the people are so hard-working and pay a lot of attention to education, they often get into relationships pretty late in life. It became quite uncommon to get married in your 20s, so there are multiple over 30 singles all around the Netherlands. But people don’t get too sad about it - their life is not limited to romance.

Also in the Netherlands, honesty is paramount. This feature results in the extreme straightforwardness of the Dutch, so if they do not like something they will express it directly. That feature might scare some foreigners who are used to being extremely polite all the time. But you should remember that the Dutch being honest is not the same as people being rude - no one likes that, and the Dutch don’t behave disrespectfully to anyone too. Just remember that if you ask a Dutchman or a woman about what they really think of something - be ready to deal with the answer.

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Those people are always for justice and take bias issues very seriously. In the Netherlands, the country with one of the lowest crime rates, the locals simply do not take and do not give bribes. There are always exceptions, but the bulk of the Dutch are very law-abiding people and demand the same from others. It results in very neat and beautiful cities and the general well-being of the country.

Dutch tolerance is world famous too. There, as nowhere else, the Dutch are loyal to absolutely any people with their habits, worldview, inclinations, appearance, etc. It is unlikely that an extravagantly dressed person or strange behaviour will surprise the residents. Complete freedom and fair treatment for everyone until a person breaks the law make The Netherlands one of the most comfortable countries in the world for the homosexuals and same-sex couples.

The Dutch appreciate the rational approach and try to apply it everywhere. They tend not to waste any resources they have, and most of them try to avoid unnecessary spending in general. However, this is not stinginess at all, it’s just that these people are used to appreciating and saving any resources they have. The inhabitants of the Netherlands are very relaxed and non-conflict people, and their easy-going attitude is one of the most recognizable features that they have. They don’t have the habit of setting up scandals, they even swear in calm tones among themselves, and then reconcile in the same calm manner. They are also very friendly and polite, so it is always pleasant to contact them. Spend a few days in the Netherlands - and you will catch their mood and accumulate their smile and cheerfulness.

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Respectful attitude and courtesy - these are the hallmarks of communication for people who are interested in each other.

Dutch relationships and dating

• The most important principle in Dutch relationships is equality. They have almost abandoned the old distribution of roles in society by gender completely. Women and men perceive each other primarily as an equal partner, they work equally and most people receive an equal salary that doesn’t depend on gender at all. Therefore, traditional etiquette rules such as opening doors or paying bills in a cafe or a fancy restaurant are completely absent. And this is not a sign of bad manners at all, their upbringing is just different and the values ​​of the Dutch society are more progressive;
• It is usually believed that it’s always a man who should make the first move. Well, it’s not a thing there: if you like someone - just go for it and try. “Til’ the fearless come and the act is done” - that’s how it works there. There are also no rules about who should call after the first date - the Dutch mostly act according to their instincts. If it feels right - then it must be right” - that’s the approach they tend to follow. It makes the very beginning of dating much more honest and appealing, cause if a person calls you after the first date - it definitely means they spend a lot of time thinking about you;
• That equality makes the relationship process much easier for everyone. The men can help their women with dinner, and the women don’t expect their men not only to be the bread-feeders, but also the ones who should pay in the restaurant. In the Netherlands even married couples often split their bills in half;
• There are no common standards for how to look. In this regard dating in the Netherlands is pretty similar to scandinavian or german dating.No one will tell you about flaws and imperfections or shabby comfortable clothes you wear. Every person is free to choose what to look like and the main thing is just to be also tolerant of the quirks of others. You can meet a make-up man in a dress and the only reaction of the pedestrians will be a polite smile. At the same time, many women there simply don’t use makeup and prefer comfortable and simple clothes. There you can be who you want to be without being shy or afraid to face the reaction of the others;
• It’s no need in choosing smart and impractical clothing for a date too. You won’t probably impress the Dutch and it might be not very comfortable to cycle through the rain on your way back. Dutch people prefer cycling or public transport over cars, so it’s a pretty realistic situation to happen. Once again, the locals of the Netherlands prefer simple and comfortable clothing, so keep natural and be yourself without trying to make an impression;
The Dutch don’t usually like to play games with hints and omissions - they simply value their time. That shows a great level of self-respect and confidence the Dutch have. If a potential partner says no, then it definitely means no, so people just say goodbye and the possibility of a romantic relationship is dead. Respectful attitude and courtesy - these are the hallmarks of communication for people who are interested in each other. No one is gonna play hard-to-get, and no one expects this approach to start dating too. Be consistent in what you want and don’t try to manipulate or confuse people around of you - and the Dutch will definitely appreciate that;A practical and honest approach is clearly seen in the Dutch when you think of their way of dating. They are not fond of sugar-coating everything they say and avoid giving compliments all the time. It might look a bit distant and cold, but they just see no use in that. They are just reliable and loyal and prefer to know the person they are on a date with instead of what they pretend to be while trying to make a good impression. The Dutch tend not to give useless presents as a symbol of their affection - it’s more likely they present something less romantic but much more useful and practical;
• The last but not least - the Dutch have an interesting opinion about marriage. It’s considered to be a very serious step - so people are very slow in making that decision. In the Netherlands people usually start with dating, then they move together, have a pet, then (optionally) - kids, and only in the end - marriage, and only if you’re lucky. They tend to think not even twice, but thrice and more. If they are not sure they would like to live with the person all their life - the marriage won’t happen. Maybe your potential partner is a spender or a bad parent? It’s better to know first - and that’s why the dating might last for many years.

Online dating in The Netherlands

Any Free Dating Site In Netherland Today

In the country as progressive and highly developed as the Netherlands is, it’s very clear that the Internet is extremely popular and widely used almost by everyone and everywhere. It’s not only a comfortable way to do business and to communicate with friends, but also a new approach to find some romantic relationships and a potential partner for dating. Millions of people all over the world consider online dating to be the fastest and the easiest way to find new people.

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One of the most popular dating websites in the Netherlands is Dating.com. It’s very easy to explain its popularity by the effectiveness of the searching algorithm and comfortable interface that makes it easy for everyone to start their adventure in the world of online dating. The Dutch don’t like to waste their time - so the registration process on Dating.com takes only a few minutes to be completed. The registration opens a lot of opportunities to find thousands of the Dutch wanting the same as you do - to find a reliable partner for a one-night stand or a long-time romantic relationship.

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Complete your profile with some information about yourself. You may write about your interests, hobbies and life goals to find someone exactly suitable for you. Share your dreams and wishes with your soulmate on Dating.com!