Dating For Widowed Seniors
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either falls, the other will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when no one is there to lift him up… And if two lie down together, they keep warm. But how can one be warm alone?” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11)
Bertha and I have been married 15 months. We love this time of our lives so much–we were each wed for 52 years before the Lord took Gary and Margaret–we wish all our friends could share the joy!
As a senior widow or widower, you may like the idea of meeting somebody who can relate to your loss. Dating after becoming widowed is not like other forms of dating – it is a set of circumstances you didn’t choose or expect. Therefore, the need to connect with others who understand what you are experiencing is key. Dating again as a widow is complicated, to say the least. Sometimes your head tells you it’s time to move forward, but your heart is stuck in the past. Sometimes you want to meet someone new, but you’re afraid to get hurt again.Widows and widowers have to overcome grief, loneliness, and insecurities on their journey from loss to love, and it’s not always easy to meet people after.
I knew a few months after my wife died that it would be God’s will for me to remarry. How does one know? The same way he knows anything else is from the Lord: in your spirit. The knowledge is simply there. However, in the case of my wife Bertha–she and I married in January of 2017–her first two years of widowhood she spent grieving Gary’s death. In her journal on the first anniversary of his passing, she wrote, “Oh Lord, how will I ever survive another year without Gary?” But before that year had passed, we had met. We both knew the first week we met that God had put us together.
It’s necessary to point out that Bertha loved Gary and I loved Margaret. And they each still hold honored places in our hearts. Nothing about that has changed. What has changed is that God has joined us together as “the love of the rest of our lives.” And it’s wonderful.
Here are 10 reasons Bertha and I have thought of why the widowed should consider remarrying…
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1. You have more living to do.
Remarrying is one way of affirming your faith in the rest of your life. “I believe in tomorrow!”
Age has nothing to do with it.
When I knew the Lord wanted me to remarry, I began praying, “Lord, please send me the love of the rest of my life.” (To call the second spouse the love of my life would feel like a betrayal to the dear person I spent over half a century with!)
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2. You're not ready for the grave.
You’re ready for something new in your life. And new/different it will be, that’s for sure, when you remarry. You will each bring new friends and family into the other’s life.
A few days after we married, we went on a long trip. First, we visited Atlanta where I spoke at the retirement of a friend of 55 years. The next morning, we had breakfast with a couple who had been best friends of Margaret and me. Then, we traveled on to Savannah for a few nights of honeymoon in a lovely old B&B. From there we drove up to South Carolina to see old friends, and then on to North Carolina to see my son’s family. And from there, back to Alabama to see my siblings. And home. (By the way, I rented a new Cadillac for the trip. And loved driving it!)
A few months later, we drove to Florida to see Bertha’s family, stopping along the way to see old friends. Soon, we’ll host her family as they come for a granddaughter’s college graduation, then a month later, drive to Florida for a grandson’s high school graduation. I love it.
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3. You have much to share.
You and your new spouse will have a lifetime of stories and experiences to share with the other. You’ll never run out of things to talk about, experiences to share, and interests.
Bertha and Gary served churches in several Southern states and in New England, then served as missionaries in Malawi and Brazil. Margaret and I served churches in the South and then spent over a quarter century in New Orleans pastoring and leading the association. So, Bertha and I have a world of stories saved up to share. We each delight in hearing these tales.
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4. You need some laughter in your life.
A few weeks after Bertha and I met, her daughter Lari, a schoolteacher in central Florida, texted me to say, “Thank you for giving my mother her laughter back.”
I read where someone said, “If there is no laughter in your lovemaking, you’re doing it all wrong.” I like that.
As Scripture says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)
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5. You need a best friend in every sense of the word.
Bertha and I are quick to say our marriage is more than (ahem) companionship. We are in love, and we like that. But to say, as many have, that seniors marry for companionship only is to insult them. Who knows love better than those who were married for 40 or 50 years? And who would be better at showing it than one who was well-married during that time?
A best friend is there for you, works to understand you, and is quick to do those things that please you. The other day, as I was finishing my round of errands–to the bank, the cleaners, the library, etc.–on the way home I stopped at Kroger’s and bought two things for Bertha: an arrangement of purple tulips and a box of Raisin Bran Crunch, her favorite. I came in the house displaying them like I was presenting the Hope diamond. She beamed with pleasure.
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6. You need another point of view.
Everyone needs someone who can disagree with us and still be on our team.
After Margaret died, I would sometimes call a friend and ask them to listen to the article I’d written for my blog that day and “tell me what you think.” My wife of 52 years would do this–sometimes with the bark off!–and I missed it terribly after the Lord took her. These days, I ask Bertha to be my sounding board.
Without another’s perspective, we may start to believe that we are right about everything. And my friends, sometimes we are certainly wrong.
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7. Married people help each other stay safe.
After I was widowed, it occurred to me one day that if something happened to me at home it could be days before one of my children called to check. Not long after we married, I came home to find that Bertha had fallen from the ladder where she was hanging pictures in the living room. We spent hours in the emergency room that day, and together we agreed to stay off ladders, or at least never to climb one when the other is not around.
When I’m backing out of a crowded parking space, even though the backup camera helps, I enlist Bertha’s assistance. “Yes!” she calls if the lane is clear in her direction. Or, “No!” You may be able to tell we had a discussion on the best thing to say when communicating to me. Make it clear, I said to her. And forceful. The idea is to help each other stay safe.
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8. Married people help each other stay healthy.
We eat better together than when we lived alone. The temptation to have another bowl of ice cream is just too powerful when no one else knows or cares. Bertha eats lots more strawberries and blueberries than she ever did, for the simple reason that I have them every morning of my life with my Honeynut Cheerios.
We walk the one mile path in the park as many afternoons each week as we can. We hold hands and talk nonstop. Sometimes, if one of us is feeling lazy or unmotivated, the other will say, “Come on. Please? Walk with me.” And so, we’re helping each other.
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9. You will have someone to talk with, someone who will listen to you.
After the Lord took Margaret, there were times I would come out of a church where I’d preached and get in the car, then reach for the phone to call her with a report on how things had gone. I knew she had been praying. And then it would hit me: She’s no longer at home. And I would weep.
Now, Bertha goes with me, and we talk nonstop. We talk while traveling in the car, we talk while walking in the park, and lots of other times.
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10. How to say this... It's great to be in love again!
Before we met, a friend said, “Seniors do not marry for love. They marry for companionship.” I said, “Not me. If I ever marry again, it will be for love.”
And so it is.
Do I need to elaborate on how wonderful this woman is? She is far more than I could ever have asked for or expected.
A few months after we married, I accompanied Bertha to her high school reunion. We had not gotten out of the car before a classmate of hers (Forest Hill High School, Jackson, MS, class of ’58) told me how blessed I was to have Bertha. I turned to her and said, “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll give you a nickel today for every time someone tells me how lucky I am.” Two hours later, I handed her a 20-dollar bill and said, “Let’s just call it even!”
So, so blessed.
Joe McKeever has been a disciple of Jesus Christ more than 65 years, been preaching the gospel more than 55 years, and has been writing and cartooning for Christian publications more than 45 years. He blogs at www.joemckeever.com.
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Dating as a widow can be a complicated journey. A part of you may want to move on but another may still be too deeply intertwined in the past. Your head may tell you to look for new connections but your heart is not ready to let go of the memories shared with your life partner. Not knowing where to even begin looking for someone new can complicate matters even more. Dating sites for widows can, thus, prove to be an important tool in helping you take an important step in the right direction.
Besides grappling with grief, loss and loneliness, making space for someone new in your life after having shared a significant part of it with your deceased partner can be intimidating, to say the least. Add to that the confusion of navigating the modern, swipe-centric dating scene, the odds can seem daunting for widow singles.
Are there dating sites for widows? If so, what are the odds of success on these platforms? Are these dating sites safe? Questions like these can cloud your mind, leaving you unsure about how and where to begin. Except it doesn’t have to be that way. With the best dating sites for widows at your disposal, you can begin your journey of finding love again at any stage of life.
11 Dating Sites And Apps For Widows – Time For New Beginnings
Linda lost her husband Wilson to cancer 8 years ago. As a couple in their 40s, Linda and Wilson were looking forward to the next, more laid-back chapter of life. Early retirement and spending their golden years together – they had fantasized about what awaited them over and over again. Then, Wilson’s diagnosis turned everything on its head. Wilson succumbed two years later, and Linda did not know how to adjust to her new reality.
The kids had flown the nest, and she found herself consumed with loneliness. It took her close to a decade, but Linda learned to come to terms with her loss and grief. She was ready to start that new chapter of life that she and Wilson so fondly imagined, without him. Having embraced her place in the widow singles club, she looked forward to turning over a new leaf.
Related Reading: First Relationship After Being Widowed – 18 Dos And Don’ts
The prospect of dating after 50 and widowed seemed too scary. Her girl friends took it upon themselves to teach her the ropes of widows dating online, beginning with a lowdown on the best dating sites for widows she could sign up on:
1. OurTime
Available on: Browser, iOS, Android
USP: Exclusively for people over 50, easy to use
Dating after 50 and widowed, your heart can be in a fragile place. OurTime, an exclusive community of people above 50, not only makes this transition easier but also safer by minimizing the risk of romance scammers lurking to bait unsuspecting, vulnerable seniors. This dating site catering exclusively to single seniors helps the divorced and widowed make a fresh start and rebuild intimate connections.
All the widow singles looking to dip their toes in the dating pool and find someone in the same age group as them must keep OurTime on their radar. This dating platform stands out for its ease of use. From creating your dating profile to search features and messaging, every functionality is straightforward, designed to make sure that tech challenges do not get in the way of older women and men seeking love.
While this isn’t exactly a free widow dating site, you can certainly get started and browse profiles without signing up for paid membership. However, the advanced features unlocked with in-app purchases, definitely make it worth every penny spent for those who’re seriously looking to find a match.
Our Verdict: One of the best dating sites for widows over 50. You must give it a try if you’re seeking love and companionship.
2. SilverSingles
Available on: Browser, iOS, Android
USP: Exclusive paid features, good security
SilverSingles is a great platform for widows seeking widowers and vice-versa. While people from any age group can sign up on this dating site, they strongly promote dating for people over 50. This dating site boasts of a diverse pool of verified members, so you know that you’re connecting with genuine, like-minded people. Besides, their security features work seamlessly in ensuring your safety isn’t compromised in your pursuit of finding love.
Related Reading:How my widowed mother married her best friend
For example, users who sign up for free cannot send messages or view photos of other members. To be able to do that, you need to subscribe to their premium plans that are priced at $44.95 per month, $34.95 per month for six months or $24.95 per month for a year. This ensures that only users who are truly invested in the process can connect and interact with others – making it one of the most ideal dating sites for widows.
Our Verdict: What is the best dating site for widows, you ask? Our money is on SilverSingles, especially for seniors looking to get back on the dating scene.
3. Widows or Widowers
Available on: Browser
USP: Exclusively for widowed singles
This is one of the best online dating options for widows seeking widowers and vice-versa. The dating site caters solely to people who have lost their spouses to death and thus truly understands the grief, loneliness and pain of widowhood.
Widows or Widowers is one of the rare independent dating sites for widows that originated from the struggles of a woman seeking to find love again, 10 years after the death of her husband. When Anne Hunte discovered how underserved the online dating scene was for those grieving the loss of a spouse, she, along with her son, set up widowsorwindowers.com back in 2004.
This dating site for widow singles has an easy sign-up process and deploys features like Online Dating Protector to ensure users’ safety. This is among the few totally free dating sites for widows and widowers open to all age groups and has separate segments for young and senior users. Their customer support and comprehensive help pages make your transition into the online dating space as seamless as possible.
Our Verdict: The ease-of-use and emphasis on security makes it one of the dating sites for widows and widowers of all age groups.
4. LoveBeginsAt
Available on: Browser, iOS, Android
USP: Private profiles, Live Chat
LoveBeginsAt hands-down qualifies among the best dating sites for widows. Harnessing an exclusive dating community for people over 40, this platform facilitates connections between people from across the world. And it doesn’t have to be about romance and love solely.
Whether you’re seeking someone to engage in meaningful conversations with, looking to date seriously or even find love, LoveBeginsAt has room for every kind of intimate connection. The dating site and corresponding apps are tailored to the needs of mid-life risers who want to give love another chance.
Thanks to their live chat feature you can connect with anyone in any part of the world without having to share your contact details with them before you feel completely ready to do so.
Our Verdict: Whether you’re looking for widow friendship sites or a dating platform to find love again, keep LoveBeginsAt on your radar if you’re over 40.
5. Just Widower Dating
Available on: Browser
USP: Free dating site, exclusively for widow singles
One of the hardest parts about widows dating online is finding someone who understands your grief and loss. With Just Widower Dating, that’s one thing you wouldn’t have to worry about. Since it’s a site exclusively for widowed singles, everyone you meet here has experienced the same pain and grief that you find yourself struggling with.
Related Reading:Dating In Your 40s – 15 Tips To Do It Right
This is another one of the totally free dating sites for widows that you can leverage to invite genuine friendships or even true love into your life again. Once you complete the simple sign-up process, you are all set to connect with thousands of like-minded people who are in the same place in life as you.
Our Verdict: A great, feature-packed free widow dating site that can help you in your quest of finding love again.
6. One Single Person
Available on: Browser
USP: Search filters and matching tools
One Single Person touts to be a “trusted online dating site for divorced and widowed singles”, so you can rest assured of finding like-minded people who are going through the same phase of emptiness as you. This is also among the best dating sites for widows that are completely free to use. Get started by creating a free account, which stays valid and operational for as long as you like.
The highlights of this widow dating online platform are its search filters and matching tools, using which you can narrow down the list of potential matches based on your preference. Which is a big asset considering it has thousands of active users and new sign-ups every day.
Dating For Widowed Seniors Over 55
Our Verdict: The filters and matching tools make it one of the dating sites for widows for finding a like-minded partner.
7. The Widow Dating Club
Available on: Browser
USP: Free dating site for widows
All the widow singles looking to get back on the dating scene, join the club – the Widow Dating Club. This is among the totally free dating sites for widows that are sensitive to the fact that finding love again doesn’t mean erasing the cherished memories of your spouse. By curating an exclusive dating community of widows and widowers, they make sure that you can make space for a new beginning while holding on to the beautiful chapters of the past.
With a network catering to users in the United States, United Kingdom and New Zealand, this is among the dating sites for widows with an intercontinental reach. It also uses the online dating protector feature to protect you from fake profiles and other common online dating safety risks.
Our Verdict: It’s wide outreach and user base transcending continents makes it one of the dating apps for young widows as well as those who are at a more advanced stage of life. Go, make the world your oyster!
8. Christian Mingle
Available on: Browser, Android and iOS
USP: Exclusively for Christian singles
This is one of the most popular online dating platforms out there that widow singles can avail of to give love another chance. Unlike some other dedicated dating sites for widows and widowers, Christian Mingle caters to people of all age groups and backgrounds seeking to date and marry within their faith.
Christian Mingle can be a great platform for religious widow singles seeking to form a connection with someone who shares their belief in God. To get started, you can create a free account and even reach out to a select number of matches without having to upgrade to a premium version. This popular dating platform has worked for Christian singles across the board, and widows seeking widowers are no exception.
Our Verdict: A great choice for spiritual and religious people looking for someone like-minded. It’s a top choice among dating apps for young widows who may be looking for long-term partnership or even remarrying.
9. eharmony
Available on: Browser, Android, iOS
USP: Compatibility Quiz
Launched in the year 2000, eharmony has been a pioneer in the online dating space and caters to the dating needs of singles, irrespective of their age, relationship status or dating goals. What sets this dating platform apart from the rest is that it uses tenets of psychology to help people connect and spark lasting connections between them. For instance, one of their highlights is the 80-question Compatibility Quiz using which the algorithm narrows down potential partners for you.
Related Reading:Virtual Dating – Is It Here To Stay?
It boasts of having facilitated more than 2 million long-term relationships and marriages in the US alone. This is undoubtedly one of the dating sites for widows seeking to date seriously or find a meaningful, lifelong connection.
Our Verdict: The enormous user base alone makes it one of the dating sites for widows. The psychology-based compatibility test is a cherry on the cake.
10. Senior Friend Finder
Available on: Browser, iOS
USP: Exclusively for singles over 60
This tops the list of best dating sites for widows looking to date in their 60s. In fact, it is one of the few dating sites catering exclusively to singles above 60. You can get started by creating a profile with your username, password, zip code etc. By selecting your marital status as a widow, you can narrow down the search to widowed singles in your vicinity.
Senior Friend Finder lets you interact with like-minded people in chat rooms, browse profiles as well as send private messages to the ones that appeal to you. The dating platform has paid silver and gold membership that you can sign up for to unlock more advanced features.
Our Verdict: The go-to choice for seniors looking for love and companionship in their golden years.
11. Match.com
Dating Tips For Senior Widowers
Available on: Browser, Android, iOS
USP: For serious relationship seekers
Match.com may not be one of those exclusive dating sites for widows but it is a legit and popular dating platform that caters to everyone’s needs. With more than 30 million members and 13.5 million monthly users, your odds of meeting someone you feel that instant chemistry with are amplified manifold. Besides, unlike most other popular dating apps, Match doesn’t focus on millennials or young singles alone.
Dating For Widowed Seniors Over 40
Since a majority of its users are about 30, it’s considered to be the go-to choice for people seeking serious, long-term relationships. Even though it’s not among the totally free dating sites for widows, you can start with the free basic membership to dip your toes in the dating scene and upgrade if you feel the need to.
Our Verdict: Match can be the beginning of a beautiful new love story. If you’re serious about dating again, don’t miss signing up on this dating platform.
Dating Sites For Widowed Seniors
Are there dating sites for widows? You now not only know the answer to that question but also that there is a whole spectrum of choices for widows and widowers from different age groups and with different needs. All there’s left for you to do now is sign up when you feel ready.
Dating For Widowed Seniors Over 50
Remember that there is no right or wrong time for widowed singles to start dating again. The right time is whenever you feel ready to open your heart and life to a new connection. Finding love again does not mean you are dishonoring the love you shared with your spouse. So, if you want to date again, do it without guilt or inhibitions.